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6AM: Protein shake (1 scoop protein powder, 1 cup water, ice, 1 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa)
7AM: coconut bark (hungry already this AM….the protein shake doesn’t seem to hold me like having 2-3 oz of protein does), tea w/1 splenda tab
8:30AM: cappo, 2 fried eggs (eating based upon hunger)
12PM: tea w/1 splenda
1PM: lamb chop, coconut mcNugget
3:30PM: Tea w/1splenda, I am hungry. Stomach hunger. Four hours until dinner. The tea is not going to hold me, but I’m starting with that. Tuna? coconut bark? babybel cheese? raw red pepper? cauliflower? ok, drink the tea first….decide on eating after that.
5:30PM: 2 bites of cottage cheese, tea w/1 Splenda
7:30PM: 4 oz beef, salad w/tomato & feta cheese & dressing, peppermint tea w/2 splenda

Calories: 1400
Carbs: ECC 15

Splenda use has been increasing. No heartburn. Not sure if the tablets have the 1 carb per tab like the packets or not. I think Dr. Bernstein said no but I don’t know for sure. Am I hungry because of using Splenda or does the Splenda help me get THROUGH the hunger. I know it doesn’t impact weight loss ‘cuz I’ve already done that test. Bloody tests. I’m quite sick of them actually.

The beach was wonderful today even though there were about 50-75 people there – typically we’re the only ones or on a BUSY, non-touro day, there might be another couple people but mostly we have the beaches to ourselves. The wind kept it a bit nippy while in the water but the surf was good (about 3 feet) and the tide was coming in so it made for great swimming. I love this time of year – where we go swimming most days. For someone raised in the midwest, it is certainly a treat to have the ocean at my doorstep. Life doesn’t get any better than this! I am so grateful.

So, when I step gingerly on the random number generator next week, and it indicates that I have had weight removal, will I attribute it to keeping my carbs below 20 for the month or will I attribute it to keeping calories below 1600 (average) for the month? Both? What if I get on the random number generator and it indicates I’ve GAINED poundage? Will I jump off the deep end of the pier in frustration? If I’ve lost, will I change anything? If I’ve gained, will I change anything? Sometimes I think monthly weigh-ins are for the birds – ‘cuz I build up too much expectation. Daily is definitely too much for me as it makes me crazy. Maybe weekly is reasonable and sensible for me – but then again, my scale is for crap so if I am going to bow down to the evil white box, I need an evil white box that is accurate and I simply am resisting spending a dime on an evil contraption.

(ok, now the ‘other’ voice of Sybil is going to talk….) Let it be for pete’s sake! Use the gym scale the next time you go in (Tuesday probably) for your pre-DR visit weigh-in. That’s it! It’s not all about the weight loss. It’s about health. It’s about fitness. Take your measurements monthly. Weigh monthly. Then LIVE YOUR FRICKIN’ LIFE, SYBIL. Do not bow down to the scale god. Do not get wrapped up in the crazy diet mentality. Be accountable but don’t be crazy. And while you’re at it, you might want to stay out of the forums and blogs for awhile ‘cuz they are making you very CRABBY!

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